A Parent's Deepest Dread: The Illusion of Eternal Child Loss
The abduction of 21 South Korean missionaries in Afghanistan has made headlines recently, shocking and angering many around the globe. Tensions in South Korea were already high before the murder of two missionaries from that group added fuel to the fire. Nonetheless, the footage of the distraught parents pleading for their children's lives after the Taliban had taken them prisoner was the most distressing aspect of that incident. A Korean mother went so far as to beg the Taliban to abduct her instead of her daughter. A parent's love for their child is like this.
Losing a child is the worst nightmare that any parent can have, and the news has brought this fact to light. At least in the instance of a kid who has gone missing, there is hope for reunification. However, there is no turning back the clock once a child dies. Furthermore, the premature death of a child is merely regarded as an exceptional circumstance, a deeply sad and abnormal occurrence. There is a universal belief among parents that they should pass on before their children, and this belief transcends national and cultural boundaries.
The thought of dying and leaving one's children behind is something that every parent experiences at some point. Unless they are very sick or very old, no parent would ever dare think about it. It's a horrible thought. However, the prospect of child loss is even more traumatic.
In most societies, parents work outside the home to provide for their children's basic needs, including food, housing, clothing, and education. In addition to providing a stable home environment, parents play a crucial role in their children's education by serving as their primary educators. They hope that before they pass away, their children complete their education, find a spouse, and start a family of their own. As far as most parents are concerned, this is just the way life works.
Everyone in the family goes through a terrible emotional roller coaster when a child dies in any tragic event, whether it's during pregnancy or delivery, an accident, a war, or a violent crime. Witnessing a child's death is a traumatic experience that can leave a lasting emotional mark. The pain of losing a loved one, particularly a small child, can be so overwhelming that a parent may momentarily become irrational. A grieving parent's interest in relating to others, even members of their own family, wanes along with their appetite and insomnia. Debilitating both mentally and physically, depression consumes a bereaved parent's life.
Many attend a parent's wake in the hopes of offering words of comfort to the bereaved. Unfortunately, these remarks usually do more harm than good and might even make things worse for them. "No worries...death is a natural part of life," or "Everything will be alright" are a few of the things that some would even say. Thankfully, your son has passed on to paradise. Instead of helping the grieving parent, these remarks might cause more pain. This is why it's crucial to know that everyone who loses a loved one, including grieving parents, goes through a period of mourning. Denial, melancholy, anger, and acceptance are the steps in this process. Shock and grief wash over a parent upon hearing the news of their child's death. The next step, a psychological defense mechanism, is denial, which aims to prevent the painful realization of a child's death from sinking in. Sadness and depression will follow the parent's realization that their child has actually died. At this point, it's common for parents to reflect on the good times they've shared with their child, beginning with the moment of birth and continuing through milestones like birthdays and holidays. These thoughts have a tendency to amplify the parent's feelings of sadness and despair. Anxieties parents may need to be prescribed antidepressants if their depression becomes too severe. Anger may set in after a while, and the bereaved parent may even begin to blame God for their child's death. The parent will come to terms with the situation and their child's death after this angry stage, which is the most emotionally intense part of grieving.
Though it may take a while longer, emotional healing is ultimately possible. Naturally, the capacity and desire of the parent determine how long it takes to have emotional healing. Some people have a hard time letting go, while others are emotionally and spiritually stable enough to do so.
Indeed, no amount of words can ease the pain of a parent who has recently lost a child. The loss of a child is difficult to overcome; doing so requires patience, faith, and prayer. The truth is that losing a child is something no parent ever fully recovers from. For parents, moving on doesn't mean ignoring their child; rather, it means accepting death as a natural and unavoidable part of life and holding on to the best and happiest times spent with their child, even though the child has died away and the parent must go on living.
